


and you with your tender offerings, how could I ever do you wrong?

by oneworldaway



Category: Terminator (Movies), Terminator: Dark Fate
Genre: Age Difference, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, bed sharing, is that going to be a tag on all my t:df fics? yes, mentioned Dani/Grace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21708010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneworldaway/pseuds/oneworldaway
Summary: Dani’s touch wakes up feelings inside Sarah that she’s tried to forget for so long, they almost seem to belong to someone else.
Relationships: Dani Ramos/Sarah Connor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 28





	and you with your tender offerings, how could I ever do you wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> [Megan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcrawler/pseuds/Shadowcrawler) read this over for me twice and I love her lots. <3
> 
> Title is from the song "Tender Offerings" by First Aid Kit.

Touch is important to Dani. Sarah learned that early on, when Grace was still there—she and Dani touched constantly, and before too long, Dani started doing it with Sarah, too. When Sarah fell apart at the cabin (Carl’s house, she still struggles to call it), she wasn’t ready for Dani to see her like that, but Dani’s hand on her arm grounded her even as she turned away. There was a barrier between them Sarah allowed to fall away when she held Dani’s hand, and it made it easier to keep touching her back after that. By the time they lost Grace, holding Dani felt like the only thing to do.

Since then, Dani hasn’t been able to sleep without Sarah’s arms around her. It’s a simple enough need, and easy for Sarah to fulfill. She doesn’t ask herself what _she’s_ getting out of it, and Dani doesn’t, either. That’s fine by Sarah; it’s enough that she can provide Dani with some measure of comfort. She’d just as well never talk about it, until the time comes when Dani needs that, too.

It happens late one night, when Sarah emerges from another dingy motel bathroom, hair wet from her shower, to find Dani brimming with unspoken thoughts about to come spilling out. Her hair is still damp, too, and Sarah thinks of all they’ve been sharing, from their trauma to a bed to the same cheap shampoo. The artificial scents feel wrong on Sarah, but Dani can use the exact same thing and smell fresh and familiar in a way Sarah feels guilty for having noticed, though it would be impossible not to with Dani so close each night.

She pushes these thoughts aside as she approaches Dani, readying herself for whatever she might need from her.

“I don’t know how to do this without her,” says Dani, staring down at the worn bedspread. “I don’t know how to do this at all.”

Sarah doesn’t need her to elaborate. After all, she’s been here before. She only had Kyle around for the very start of it all. He left her with John, but he left her, so soon after he came, and it was all she could do to pick up the pieces of her own shattered hopes and try to keep moving forward. The end of the world and the end of her youth came all at once, but it feels so far away now that she hardly remembers what it was like before.

Sarah sits down on the bed next to her. “You just do it,” she says simply. “I managed it alone and pregnant at nineteen.”

Dani looks up at her too quickly, startled. “You were nineteen,” she echoes, as if she hasn’t really thought about it until now.

“I told you, I was about your age.”

“I’m twenty-five,” Dani protests, but not with any real fight to it.

“You’re young,” says Sarah, half shrugging. “So was I.”

Dani’s stare has fixed itself on Sarah, now, something behind it that Sarah isn’t ready to face, but can’t bring herself to hide from. “So how did you do it?” Dani asks her.

Sarah can only offer her the truth. “I did it for John. Always for John.”

She freezes for a moment when she feels Dani’s hand on her face. Though they’ve slept curled against each other for weeks, she realizes it’s the first time Dani’s reached out to her like this since they were at the cabin. Holding Dani at night has come to feel natural, but to be on the receiving end of one of Dani’s touches again wakes up feelings inside Sarah that she’s tried to forget for so long, they almost seem to belong to someone else.

But Dani holds her gaze steady, her hand only moving to brush against Sarah’s cheek softly. She’s leaning in, then, and for all Sarah’s finely honed reflexes, she makes no move to dodge her. Dani kisses her with no expectations, gentle but firm, solid and warm against her. It’s short, but Sarah feels as though everything is slowing down, and by the time it’s over, years might’ve passed since either of them spoke.

“I’m sorry,” says Dani, barely above a whisper. “You’ve had to be strong for so long.”

She sees what Dani’s doing, knows what she’s trying to give her, but it isn’t something she can just accept. Sarah hasn’t taken anything for herself in a long time; the last and best gift she ever received was John, and she sees no use in looking for anything else when he was already more than she feels she deserved. If it were all about her, she’d be able to move back, to smile graciously as she put as much distance as possible between herself and the woman in front of her.

But there’s more to it, just enough to keep her in place. As selfless a touch as it may have been, Sarah knows that Dani needs this, too. She almost can’t cope with receiving such tenderness, but she can do this for Dani.

“Sarah?” asks Dani, her hand still on her face, eyes searching Sarah’s for anything at all Sarah might be willing to share.

Sarah takes Dani’s hand in hers and turns her head to press a kiss to her palm. Dani gasps softly, her eyes falling shut, and as Sarah watches her soak up the feeling, she knows she’s made her choice.

Yes, she can do this for her.

~

“She was in love with me,” says Dani.

Sarah wonders why she’s doing this now, naked and pressed close against Sarah’s side, but it doesn’t upset so much as surprise her. Dani does that a lot.

She waits Dani out until she’s ready to go on, but Dani just stares at their intertwined hands, seemingly waiting for Sarah to respond. What is there to say? “Yes, I imagine so.”

Dani’s quiet for a long while before she meets Sarah’s gaze. “Did you love him? John’s father?”

It takes Sarah a moment to let the memories come drifting back, to learn how to hold both lifetimes in her head at once. In bed with Dani now, that past feels further away than ever.

“At the time, I loved him completely,” she says, thinking back on the fierce passion she felt for him while he was there, and right after. “He saved my life. And he made me feel like the most important person in the world. It was intoxicating. Eventually, I loved what he had meant to me.” She watches Dani out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge her reaction, but she can’t tell if any of it rings true for her, too. “Whatever you feel for her, it’s okay to feel it,” she tells her, hitting on the point she thinks Dani’s leading them to.

Dani sighs, playing with their joined hands in a way Sarah finds both distracting and calming. “I don’t know how I feel,” she says. “I only knew her for three days. But the way she looked at me, like she knew me better than anyone...it felt right.” That’s about what Sarah expected. Dani draws their hands closer to her chest, clasping Sarah’s more firmly, and that’s something else altogether. “But so does this.”

So that’s why they’re talking about this now. Sarah understands, but she doesn’t quite internalize the information. It sits in the topmost layer of her consciousness, just real enough to let her find a response. “That’s okay, too,” she says, meaning it. 

She tries to imagine what it would’ve been like for her if there’d ever been someone else. There were relationships, some that even lasted for months, but Sarah always knew she wasn’t going to stick around. If someone else who knew the full truth of it had been there with her, after Kyle, how different would that have been for her? For John? Could she have made herself as open to them as Dani’s doing with her now?

Now Grace is the fallen hero in Dani’s memory, but Sarah is still here, and she’s not sure what she can be for her. Protector, teacher, sure. Lover, perhaps, if tonight is any indication. She could never replace Grace, but maybe that’s not the point. She lets herself entertain the possibility, just for a second, that Dani’s always needed them both. But she’d never pretend she could be enough for her.

Still, she feels Dani relax against her, satisfied with Sarah’s answer for now. Dani kisses her again, lazily and more messily than Sarah expects, and she realizes this girl could be the end of her. No one’s felt worth it to her for so long, but she wouldn’t think twice about going into battle again for Dani, who’s inexplicably done the same for her. 

Dani’s given her a purpose again. It isn’t hard to see where Grace’s devotion came from, but of course there’s more to it for Sarah. She had to go through all this alone, but she can make sure that Dani won’t.

When Dani falls asleep, Sarah lets herself dream, too. She lies awake with the clarity that Dani’s touch has granted her and realizes she’s begun to want things again. And for once, she doesn’t stop to ask herself if she deserves them.


End file.
